0 to 5 Articles - Buying for a new Baby - getting the most from "helpful" advice
Most people will be more than happy to share their
opinions, experiences, and recommendations. Advice from
family and friends is undoubtedly more down-to-earth
than the glossy brochures, but there’s one problem: they
don’t agree. Every product seems to have its devotees
and its detractors.
In the early stages of shopping, I tried and failed to
find consensus on the best types and brands of cots,
slings, and baby baths. I ended up more confused than
when I started.
But eventually I noticed something interesting: when
someone tells you that a particular brand or feature is
the best, or an essential that no one could live
without, it’s invariably because that product meets
their personal requirements – that is, there’s no
“best”, but there is “most suitable for my purposes”.
For example, some of my friends would say that a change
table with plenty of shelves and storage was their
favourite purchase. Others talked about changing nappies
on floors and beds while the change table gathered
clutter until they eventually sold it. It won’t surprise
you to know that some of my friends are highly organised,
while others like to improvise. All of them have happy
and cared-for children.
This could seem obvious, but it was a liberating change
of perspective. It meant ceasing the search for “the
best” and instead looking for “ticks my (idiosyncratic)
boxes” – just like making any other purchasing decision.
And most of us already have a pretty good idea of what
type of things we like – for example, where we sit on
the organised to improvised spectrum.
With this in mind, I can listen to all the contradictory
advice in a very different way.
- Choose your advice givers well – you can
listen politely to everyone, but listen more
closely to people you know share some basic
attitudes with you. Their experiences are most
likely to reflect your own.
- Take all advice with a pinch of salt – just
as parents vary, so do children. Something that
worked for someone else may not work for you
simply because you have very different babies.
- Forget the guilt – not following someone’s
advice is not a criticism of them or their
parenting approach. This is a purchasing
decision, not a moral choice.
How helpful has advice been for you? Do you have any
other suggestions for getting good advice? Visit our
forum to discuss.
Our articles are intended to be thought-provoking, inspiring, challenging
rather than prescriptive. See a list of our 0to5.com.au Articles and Activity Ideas
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