So, you’ve all survived the first year and now it’s time to celebrate.

The most important way to avoid unnecessary stress is to be honest with yourself – why are you having this party and who is it for? 

Easy question first, who is the party for?

The party is not for the baby. I’m not convinced that anyone grows up with a grievance against their parents for not holding an extravagant first birthday party for them. The guest of honour really won’t care whether they have a party or not – and they are perfectly entitled to retire for a nap half-way through.

Some parties are for the extended family, some are for family friends, some for the siblings, and most a combination.

Hard question next, why are you having the party?

The guest of honour really won’t care whether they have a party or not – so you are not doing it for them.

Is it just to celebrate the first year of your child’s life with family or friends? Then a low-key celebration where the emphasis is on relaxing together and enjoying each others company is sufficient.

To mark the occasion! A cake, a candles and some photos to remember the day is all that is needed. The less stress, the more you will enjoy yourself and have a good day to remember.

If there are siblings involved, then you are more likely to have a proper birthday cake, candle, gifts and a few games. But they won’t really mind if the baby doesn’t participate much.

10 Survival Tips for a First Birthday Party.

1. Who to invite? As few as possible. A large crowd will make both the baby and its parents feel overwhelmed.
2. Who not to invite. You don’t need to invite all the mothers and babies from playgroup. A room full of one-year olds just makes hard work.
3. Where to hold the party? At home, where baby can go off for a nap and everything is close to hand, or perhaps at a grandparent or other relative’s home if they are hosting and catering.
4. What to do? A few games like pass the parcel, take-home loot bags etc are only necessary if there are older children involved – and not necessarily then.
5. Entertainment for older children. Make sure there are some toys to play with or good quality dvds to watch.
6. A cake! Cake is good and make a photo opportunity so that you can show a photo of the one year old looking at their cake with one candle. Just a standard iced cake is fine unless you are into cake artistry.
7. Decorations? Only if there are other children who will appreciate a few balloons. Avoid party poppers and other noisy things that are likely to frighten babies.
8. Retreat when necessary. If it all gets a bit much, this is one occasion where the guest of honour is perfectly entitled to retire for a while and leave the guests to get on with it.
9. Minimise your workload. Disposable plates, simple food. Allow your guests to volunteer for jobs like making tea and coffee. You don’t have to impress anyone – surviving your first year as a parent is impressive enough.
10. Remember safety. People get distracted at parties and an accident could spoil your party. Make preparations beforehand, like stairgates, putting away items that are unsafe for young children, ensure hot food items are safely out of reach of youngsters. You can also set firm boundaries like nobody in the pool, children must stay in certain areas etc.

What do you think? Is this a good approach? Are we being too off-hand about baby’s first birthday? Are you putting too much unnecessary pressure on yourself or someone else?